Kankonian history

Modern humans first appeared on Kankonia in -170,000, in the savannahs of southern Kupulshas. They had a knowledge of fire and were believed to speak languages with all the features of modern human languages, in addition to having domesticated dogs as companions. They expanded their reach adapting to the rain-forest and desert climes of the continent, as well as the grassland, deciduous forest and taiga at the northern reaches of the continent, before setting out with their rafts to reach Povoi around -130,000. Other humans are known from Opeg in the Tzelshas Islands around -120,000 (the mainland, Nolaata, was reached shortly afterwards). It is believed that Povoians domesticated the sheep around -100,000 and the goat around -90,000. They also domesticated jungle fowl (chickens), ducks, donkeys, pigs and bees in the next 10,000 years, while cultivating rice, rye, ullucu, potatoes and tomatoes. These farmers developed the rafts that would allow them to sail to Dumang around -70,000, and it is believed that the Dumangians reached Durben and Hegheos more or less simultaneously in -63,000 (the Tzelshans had probably already arrived at the west coast of Hegheos around -80,000, judging from the peculiar figures of fat women carved on the handles of the spears in both continents). The Dumangians domesticated the cat, which they brought to Durben and Hegheos. On Hegheos, grassland occupants domesticated the fezina, while savannah denizens domesticated the wenschar and desert dwellers domesticated the camel all around -40,000. Around -30,000, the Povoians domesticated the giant tapir. It is believed now that the pyramids in Hegheos were most likely built by Greys from Bt!a in -35,000, as a tribute to mathematics. Buried Greys are found around the pyramids from this time. Agriculture began in Dumang in -33,000, as Dumangians domesticated sugarcane, sunflowers and bamboo. In -24,000, inhabitants of Hegheos had clearly become farmers, having cultivated wheat, sorghum and hemp, while farmers in Durben had cultivated hemp in -22,000 and flax in -20,000.

The Rephir civilization in southern Hegheos, built around the Naspar River, was the first true civilization on Kankonia. Such cities as Grad, Teder, Nyusam and Bebh (the capital) were known and referred to by the works of civilizations that coexisted with this one. It had a writing system made of up 4,688 known picture symbols, as well as a calendar which claims the civilization started around -7800 on the Ekhulic calendar (carbon dating shows several artifacts to be from around -7500). The people there cultivated barley, sugarcane, spinach, amaranth, flax and onions. Their diet was based on fruits, vegetables and grains. They invented bricks, wheels for pottery, ploughs to be driven by wenschars, razors, chains and coins for 1, 5, 10, 50, 100 or 500 khers, representing numbers through a decimal system. A caste system under a king included royals (plus royal religious officials), skilled workers, unskilled laborers, and slave laborers, who could be owned by royals or skilled workers. Their religion was of the pagan sort, and 131 gods and goddesses are recorded. A girl was the property of her father until she married around 17, at which point she became the property of her husband. "And almost no one will question that the woman is best as the servant to her husband", the scribe Phumun wrote in his -6432 work "The Ways of the Rephir People". The average Rephir family had 10 children. Education took place inside the home. Parents spanked their children for lying, swearing or disobeying, and spanking was believed to foster good behavior in children and was encouraged by priests. The Rephir people valued obedience and hard physical labor, and could not stand profanity. The Rephirs made music with their whistles, ocarinas and drums and held a Festival of the Birds every spring in which they welcomed in the spring with a big concert, a concert they believed could summon all the birds. With their bronze metallurgy, the Rephir civilization marked the start of the Bronze Age on Kankonia. The people of Rephir would wear a simple short-sleeved white robe. In -3440 Rephir got an army to fight invaders.

The nation of Tebadan sprang up on the other side of the world in Povoi. Farmers in the grasslands of the Binules raised their animals and plants in an agricultural monarchy and developed the wheel independently of the Rephir people. The civilization began around -4000. The capital was set at Migar (now Foidrateti). Several bills and recordings of debts are uncovered by archaeologists to this day. A duodecimal number system was used. A system of picture glyphs recorded the Tebadani language, and through this a small amount about their monarchy, their commerce with desert, taiga and deciduous forest peoples and their everyday keeping of debts and payments is known.

Around -3400 sprang up Azpelati, a nation in the desert region to its south. Much of what we know about Tebadan comes from Azpelatian historians. Azpelati had a writing system that was a mix of pictographic symbols and letters for sounds, in addition to a lunar calendar. The capital was set at Kwelmo (now Kapikaimi). The king had 4,000 slaves, whom he fed on rice and butchered wild animals alone. Life in this nation was harsh, and unless you were a noble you could be executed at the whim of the king; one noble, Luzono, wrote a treatise on the concept of divine right of kings. The king was being seen as directly under the gods in the Azpelati religion, with the rest of the nobles under the kings, and the commoners at the bottom of the human hierarchy. The people of Azpelati wore alpaca shawls, zaktatas (V-necked button-down shirts of alpaca wool with no sleeves), woollen pants and pigskin shoes called nokhapis. Tebadan is made out to seem much more peaceful and agrarian than Azpelati from the latter nation's records.

Around -2600 people in the savannahs of Povoi started the city-state of Bhudra (now Oinateti). The Bhudrans kept contact with the Azpelatians. Bhudrans were much more peaceful than their desert neighbors, and had a religion in which one god or goddess existed for each animal and plant species around them, all under a human-form god, P'et'o. They modified the alphabet of the Azpelatians and had their own lunar calendar. They invented paper, sewing machines, lathes, ink, pens and cotton gins, in addition to cultivating cotton. Alpacas did the work of pulling farm equipment for them. They had time to record many works of philosophy. Unlike the monarchist Azpelatians and Tebadanis, the Bhudrans were ruled by a council of twelve elders. They practiced both polygyny and polyandry. A male Bhudran would wear a simple loincloth with necklaces, ear and septum piercings and clogs, while a female Bhudran wore a loincloth, a tube top that ended below the breasts, necklaces, pakingas (shells with holes punctured in them, through which locks of hair were strung) and clogs.

Then around -2000 the Gwejo, a barbarian tribe from the Binules, invaded Tebadan and killed its king Cayad in the process. They occupied the castle and dined on fine meats, until they had plundered every village. Tebadan had fallen. This inspired Azpelati to start an army; discipline for soldiers was harsh, although the soldiers enjoyed membership in a new caste in between the nobles and the commoners. Their standing army conquered many desert nomads and such barbarian tribes as the Gwejo and the Skarks, and Azpelati grew into an empire, covering most of the desert region of the continent.

The nation of Kabuvas formed in Hegheos around the Blespharos River, established in -4200 or so. They cultivated garlic, leeks, cilantro and cotton, and had an army of 6,000 men to defend against barbarian attackers. Bronze gates defended the capital, an ornate palace in Azmos called the Kwandizas Palace for its first king. The Kabuvian people were not known for honesty, and had a self-perpetuating culture of deceit. One was not really expected to tell the truth, and in the Kabuvian religion the gods could be appeased for any wrongdoing by bribes. Every summer the Kabuvians sacrificed 150 children to the gods. They were polygynous. Their writing system consisted entirely of pictures. The Kabuvians invented the hammer and the nail. They also invented a sundial, which they bisected four times to divide the day into 16 lamas, thus inventing the Kankonian system of telling time. A Kabuvian woman's outfit consisted of crown, tunic dress and sandals. A Kabuvian woman wore a medal called a vapoka around her neck until she married, at which point she got her tongue pierced. A Kabuvian man wore a front that tied up in back, with shorts and sandals.

In about -3800 the city-state of Ktibagu was established near the Rephir civilization. They borrowed the coins, bronze metallurgy and calendar of the Rephir people but made wives and husbands equal in rights, and allowed either the wife or the husband to start a divorce. They had their own pantheon of gods and goddesses, rather than borrowing the Rephir ones. The king did keep several hundred slaves, however, and was said by historians to have 6,550 eunuchs. They borrowed the writing system of Kabuvas. Ktibagu was notable for inventing cannons and cannonballs. Ktibagu was the first civilization to have a code of laws, developed in the -3650's by Empepre. Ktibagiks of both genders wore felt hats and tunics with capris and sandals.

The kingdom of Ghogros sprang up in northern Durben, and developed the metallurgy of bronze independently around the time it was founded in -3000. This was the first civilization on the continent, and the first to practice mummifications. They were also the inventors of matches. Ghogrosiks believed in the wholeness of body and soul, and believed that if one was mummified one could attain an afterlife with the gods. Of course, one also had to be good and serve one's king. Although the king did not own slaves, he did draft ordinary citizens for work on building palaces and tombs. They used a mix of picture glyphs and phonetic symbols to record their language. The Ghogrosiks bartered sorghum for payments. Both men and women served the king and did work. Ghogrosiks wore skirts with clogs and some jewelry. If they were rich, they wore yageladas (mixed gold and fabric worn around their necks) and feather headdresses. Their capital was in Psitha.

In -2700 it was joined by the city-state of Metillea, which adapted the Ghogrosik writing system. Metillea's army emphasized iron-strong will and physical fitness, and athletes were highly valued. Many of its best jumpers, distance runners, vaulters and archers were pictured on its bronze coins, which are prized collectors' items today. Metillea maintained good relations with Ghogros, and the two nations never got into any wars. The Metilleans traded apples, rimbakos, walnuts, pecans, pears and game birds, while the Ghogrosiks traded grapes, dates, figs, pomegranates, poppies, oezha plants and purzads. The Metilleans had several amazonian women. A woman could have several husbands in Metillea. Metilleans dressed similarly to the Ghogrosiks, except all of them wore yageladas and they wore tiaras instead of headdresses. They borrowed the Ghogrosik religion and gave the gods and goddesses their own names.

Also around -2700 was when the Tze*ethik tribe formed their own country, the country that would later become the Hegheosik Empire, around the Naspar. This had previously been a wandering desert people, but it was some time around -2700 that they settled. At first, this nation used a lunar calendar, and in -2554 they invented their own alphabet. This tribe had a royal family and was in many respects a typical monarchy. However, one characteristic that was special about the nation of Tze*ethia was the ability of its royalty to grow. When the castle needed more princes, they would go out to the fields and find boys age 16-22, whom they would introduce into the castle in Hetziel. They would then tap these boys on the shoulder with a beryllium rod called a tzoruga, which was said to hold magical powers. Their hair would be shaven and they would be given royal clothes. The royal family line expanded greatly, and the Tze*ethiks were able to marry off all their princesses. In -2481 Khavo finished editing the Tzalath, which encoded the history and beliefs of the Tze*ethik people. The religion of Hazumas was now official. They worked bronze and made silver coins. Notable was that they invented the windmill and the water mill, as well as the water screw. They were the first people to cultivate coffee.

Near the Tze*ethiks were such other desert tribes as the Abudars, the Kheriks, the Boidois and the Plepas. These nomadic tribes all traveled around the desert regions of Hegheos, interacting with the Tze*ethiks. The Abudars were named for the abudis they wore, an abudi being a sheath-like garment that covered head to knees, with a semicircular hole for the face and two round holes for the arms. The Kheriks preferred togas, while Boidois wore tunics with white camel-hair pants and Plepas wore low-reaching cloaks called phasas over tunics. All of these desert people wore sandals. All of them had their own pagan beliefs in many gods, with a different pantheon for each tribe. After the Tze*ethiks claimed Tze*ethia, they fought a war against the Abudars, the War of the Desert, who had infiltrated Tze*ethik land. The Tze*ethiks won, and none of the other desert tribes ever tried to claim the land again. Individuals, however, would often leave their nomadic tribe to join Tze*ethia, and they would become assimilated into the Tze*ethik culture and cease to be dress and speak like a Kherik, a Boidoi, or a whatever.

Also around -2700, Seksai formed around the Blespharos River, with its capital set in Dhalatz. The Seksayiks were people who fished the river and ate seafood as their main source of food. They made bronze swords and bronze shields to battle armies who invaded their country. Their first king, Gardon, and his council drafted a code of laws and decreed that the death penalty shall be given for many crimes such as robbing the palace, treason, arson or public drunkenness. A woman in Seksai could be executed for disobeying her husband. Executions usually took place by cutting open the body and ripping out the lungs, heart and spleen. The people of Seksai were the first to cultivate cabbage. They adapted the Tze*ethik alphabet and had a lunar calendar. Seksayiks wore white goat-wool robes and wooden sandals. The men's robes were called dhagors and covered their hair, chests, abdomens, shoulders and thighs. The women's robes were called psablas and covered their hair, chins, necks, breasts, abdomens, shoulders and legs. The Seksayiks were polytheists and believed in 30 gods.

The country of Amadia in Hegheos was formed around the Blespharos River in -2543. They adapted Ghogros' writing system and eventually had an alphabet. Amadia had hero myths about Lyepomon, and recorded their entire mythology. The Amadian religion, Destra, was monotheistic, and believed in one god who had many angels, the angels sometimes coming down to Kankonia and mating with humans. Destra was the second known monotheistic religion after Hazumas. God was male, as the Amadians were phallocentric and believed that homosexuality was the highest form of love. A man would have his male lover, or tashim, in addition to his wife. They invented paper independently and would dye their clothes with murex ink. They wore tunics that came in white, purple, white and purple vertical stripes or white and purple horizontal stripes. They also wore goat-wool pants and boots. They were also noted for their inventions of scissors and the bomb. Paper was introduced to such nearby people as the Rephirs, the Kabuvians, the Tze*ethiks, and the Ktibagiks. An Amadian farmer had a rich collection of wenschars, pigs, sheep, goats, chickens and ducks, which he kept inside his house with his dogs and cats. The Amadians were fond of raising rabbits to feed their pets. The capital of Amadia was Aroumba.

Among the most celebrated of the ancient civilizations of Kankonia is the city-state of Ciladia, which was established in -2237 under the king Bekhtel. The Ciladians were excellent traders, albeit not-so-great farmers. With their bronze coins, they traded diamonds, rubies, emeralds, glass, rugs, bowls, wheels, chariots, spears, swords, cannons, cannonballs, hammers, nails, bolts, axes, chisels, screws, screwdrivers, wedges, ramps, guitars, ocarinas, whistles and lipstick for flowers, fruit, sugar, candy, wine, beer, stenza, yibeshiz, spices, wool, cotton and paper-making trees. They adopted the alphabet of Amadian, a language related to Ciladian, and also adopted the Amadian calendar. (Kabuvas switched from its pictographic writing to an alphabet based on Ciladian's around this time). Although originally a monarchy, they experimented with having a council of 180 officials elected by Ciladian citizens over 16 (men only), and as such were the first democracy on Kankonia. A senator stood up for reëlection every 10 years. Empepre's system of laws inspired the first legal code of Ciladia, but laws were modified through governmental action. The government taxed imports to feed and supply its standing army of 7,000 men. Ciladians invented the sport of rakhman. The Ciladians were known to adore homosexuality, and many men cultivated loving relationships with other men even though they were not gay or bisexual. Ciladians were monogamous but sometimes polyamorous, and had an average of 6 children per family. Both Ciladian men and women would wear abayas and sandals.

A city-state called Poparan was founded in Hegheos around -2000. It adapted the alphabet of Ghogros, and developed the first solar calendar. The other shining achievement of Poparan was its working of iron. With Poparan began the Iron Age on Kankonia. The Poparanians did not have slaves do their work for them and believed in the equality of men and women. The Poparanians were monogamous, with families of about 8 children who were all educated in the house together. The Poparanians were pagans who buried their deceased by covering them with clay (argillification, or batasemen), believing they could be now at peace with the earth again. They were a monarchy who always had one sitting king and one sitting queen. Much like Ciladia, they traded. They also farmed, however, and raised the best sheep and most delicious chickens on Kankonia. Poparanians wore loincloths with flip-flops, and tied zigzagged katans around their neck, which resembled the collar of Kermit the Frog. Women wore headscarves.

The Poparanians believed their way was better than those of the Rephir civilization, with their slavery and gender inequality. For that reason, the royal family declared war on the nation. Poparan fought the Iron War, using their iron weapons to battle the bronze-weaponed Rephir people, and Rephir fell in -1877. The influence of Poparan spread and the city of Poparan went from city-state to capital of the Poparanian Empire.

The negative second millennium was a golden age for science and philosophy on the continent of Hegheos. Tze*ethia, Ciladia, Poparan and Kabuvas worked together to improve technology and thought. Ciladians invented the telescope in -1880 (invented by Gyundam) and the microscope in -1791 (invented by Kaspil). In -1642 the first university on the planet was founded in Ciladia. In -1561 the Ciladian Sakhlan developed the first periodic table. It was a good time for mathematics, as the Tze*ethik Kmesar identified the Fibonacci sequence, while Vuihwektil from Poparan identified Mersenne primes. Wantas from Kabuvas identified the Wantas sequence: 1, 2, 6, 12, 60, 420, 840, 2,520 . . . The Poparanian Hyamitl proposed Occam's Razor in the form of the Tederian Onion: the outer surface of this onion accounted for 90% of it, the second layer 9%, the third layer 0.9%, etc., and symbolized the idea that the simplest explanation will be correct 90% of the time, the second simplest explanation 9% of the time, the third simplest explanation 0.9% of the time, and so on. With sightings of anthoi and blonde people, there were questions about whether life beyond Kankonia, some of it not even human, really existed. Hyamitl used the Tederian Onion to argue that it was safest to assume extrakankonial life did not exist. Pemetrias of Kabuvas was the first to use experimental method in -1763, as he tested his hypotheses about the physics of falling objects. In -1233, the Ciladian Phusyar proposed the concept of falsifiability as a measure of good science. In geometry, the Tze*ethik Mardos described the properties of triangles and the Kabuvian Qethras identified the basic solids.

In philosophy, the Kabuvian woman Wesfu argued against human sacrifice and for women's rights. Kabuvas was transformed into a nation with a Ciladian-style legal code and without human sacrifice (although it still had a death penalty). Kabuvas had a president with 39 senators, 3 from each precinct, standing for reëlection every 5 years. The Kabuvian Dzontas argued that things were objectively right or wrong, a fact that existed independently of human social norms. Fetalu, also Kabuvian, argued that killing was always wrong and said all states should abolish the death penalty, ban abortion and disband their militaries. In -1649 Ciladia finally gave women the vote and disestablished its law stating that women were the property of their husbands. A legal reform in -1380 allowed women to join the military. This was also the Millennium that Temkhyab of Ciladia founded the Rasaphi religion, after learning about the Tzalath through trade with the Tze*ethiks. Tze*ethia spread Hazumas to Kabuvas in the negative eighteenth century and Poparan in the negative sixteenth century.

Philosophers in Hegheosik nations would sit around in round rooms called byumas, and eat pork, lamb, goat or water buffalo fat while discussing ideas, mathematics and science. They would also chew taffy and geteng (a candy made from the gum of the dark brown bakhav tree). They developed the concept of the number zero. They coined the names for numbers larger than 10,000. They also invented symbols for the numbers zero and powers of ten (although only the ten digits 0-9 are in use today). Philosophers collaborated on grammars of such languages as Ciladian, Kabuvian, Poparanian, Tze*ethik, Amadian and Ktibagik and formalized the languages. Both men and women were allowed in the byuma, so arguments for women's rights were often heard. Parables about fantastic lands, their systems of government and their laws were concocted and recorded. The Kabuvian Khadoras' -1347 collection The Orange Islands told stories about many failed nations.

The three nations of Athroze (c. -2000), Lemik (c. -1850) and Sampia (c. -1700) were established on the continent of Hegheos, and used iron weapons. All three fought with Tze*ethia, which had iron weapons introduced from Poparan. The three and Tze*ethia locked horns many times. All three were monarchies, and all three spoke languages distantly related to Ktibagik. The Athrozians believed that homosexuality was wrong, and spread the anti-gay meme around Hegheos. Lemikians had special assassins for the king callled shukens, who would conquer other peoples by killing their leaders.

The Mophasians settled in Seksai near the Blespharos in -1560 and fought the Blespharos War. The bronze weapons of the Seksayiks were no match for the Mophasians' iron, and Seksai fell to the new country of Mophasia in -1550. The capital remained in Dhalatz. They used iron weapons in a standing army, and had a lunar calendar. Their alphabet was modified from Ciladian, and they spoke a language related to Ciladian and Amadian. The Mophasians were distinguished by their form of pottery, the tuqsens, pots shaped like inverted hats with decorative wires going around. Surviving tuqsens and their shards are recognized in archaeological excavations of Mophasia to this day. They both farmed and traded, and went from monarchy in -1550 to democracy in -916. Mophasia had a prime minister with 165 senators (standing for election every 6 years), and elected mayors for the cities. Cities like Bemtar, Fummus i Tanreqesad and Kaged were important centers of commerce and social life. Tze*ethia had its Crusade of the Palm Tree from -1433 to -1412 to convert Mophasia to Hazumas (they had previously practiced a pagan religion). After the conversion, Mophasians dressed like Tze*ethiks.

South of Hegheos, in Durben, the nation of Phesandra was founded around -1300. The Phesandrans had bronze weapons and gold coins, and their king was friends with that of Ghogros. They borrowed mummification from the Ghogrosiks, and also adapted their phonetic symbols into an alphabet. The Durbenians began trading with people from the continent of Hegheos around -1200. Phesandrans had majestic ships that could transport goods to the Mophasians, Ciladians, Tze*ethiks, Poparanians, etc. and trade with them. The Hegheosiks enjoyed the elephants the Durbenian traders traded from Dumang, and an elephant became a luxury. A woman was the property of her father or husband in Phesandra, so Phesandran women wanting to escape the tight society had to become sailors, where they were under maritime law and not Phesandran law. They would eat seafood, rats and porcupines, with the occasional animal gathered from a place they were visiting. Seaweed was also a popular dish. Phesandran men wore saris and boots, wore women wore stolas, tiaras and sandals. Kamrahan was the capital of Phesandra.

From -1100 to 300 was an age of pirates, most but not all Durbenian, who would battle at sea and raid each others' ships. Often Dumangians or Hegheosiks would live on the same ship as Durbenian captains, and learn their language (Phesandran, frequently). Both men and women became pirates in large numbers. There were reports of pirates doing battle with ships carrying elephants and other animals and feasting on their meat. Mostly, however, they were after gold, silver and ivory, or were there to get away from the cultural restrictions of terrestrial society.

On the continent of Povoi, the Povoi nation began in -550, with its capital in Povoiteti. It was a rain-forest country with an alphabetical writing system and a lunar calendar. Povoi had money made out of uabangu teeth, and bronze weapons. The Povoians traded with Azpelati and Bhudra. They had to fight off barbarians, once in the -330's and once in the -270's. They had such animals as alpacas domesticated by previous farmers on the continent. They got around by riding giant tapirs and having these tapirs pull their farm equipment, while alpacas provided milk. The Povoians were the first people to cultivate cacao. Ancient Povoi was ruled by a king, who had a court to whom he referred for matters; the court was all male. The royals, including the court, were at the top of the caste system; below them were Povoi's religious officials including the sextons; below them were the skilled workers; below them the commoners. The artists and travelers from other cultures did not have a place in the social hierarchy. The Povoians had a military draft that conscripted boys age 15 to 24 to fight other nations and peoples. They educated their sons in schools from the beginning of the school year in autumn after their sixth birthdays to the end of the school year starting after their thirteenth birthdays. Povoians practiced polygyny, and a man owned his wives; he also owned his children until they married or were drafted. They had family names from father or husband, generation names within a family, and given names that differed with gender. They practiced taigrisupiti, or honor killings. The Povoians believed in many gods and goddesses, and would sacrifice crops and three tapirs every autumn for blessings from the gods. They examined the entrails of pigs, frogs, tapis and tapirs to make decisions; the king's court even attempted this for major decisions. For more personal matters, Povoians consulted oracles. Povoian dress was diverse, with the people wearing robes, dresses, tunics, neckerchiefs, shawls, cloaks, jackets, vests, raincoats, grass skirts, wool skirts, capris, shorts, socks, sandals and boots.

In -214, Povoi became an empire with the expansion over the entire rain-forest region of the continent. They became the most powerful force on the continent, even more powerful than Azpelati. The emperor Oigat Sevuba Aigö rang in his country's new status with a parade in the streets, and refurbished his castle with gold. The army's top soldiers became boisangatrus, or "wind warriors", assigned to special operations in the pursuit of more empire. A boisangatru could be given oezha the night before a fight and see an omen of how the win the one-on-one, and was treated to special meals.

Tze*ethia built an empire in the negative first millennium by conquering nearby tribes, such as the Bende (in the Bende-Tze*ethik War) and the Hwasira (in the Hwasira War). They took over these tribes' land and raped their women. Much of the region around the Naspar was Tze*ethik by -700. They also introduced hoishands. Hoishands were highly skilled warriors who were used for secret operations, or to assassinate leaders and thereby suck the blood from other lands. A hoishand practiced four lamas a day in the use of such weapons as the bezist (with metal claws placed around the knuckles), the psezen (a thin horizontal object thrown to slice people up) and the sukinap (a curved shape with an end that was covered with gouging thorny extremities). When in action or when practicing, he wore a tesalis (a black sleeveless shirt with a V-shaped neck that pulls over the head), a romoru (a blue cloak made of fibers from local plants) and gumarnas (slacks made out of camel hair). A hoishand would wear regular clothes at other times, so no one but the king and his family would know who he was. In the Purple Wars, Tze*ethia eventually defeated Lemik, Athroze and Sampia through their hoishands. The hoishand Phoskat assassinated the Lemikian king Andre in -543, and Windri assassinated Andre's next-in-line, Todzhas. In -532, only 11 years later, the hoishand Kamars decapitated the general of the Athrozian army, Zechat, in his bathroom. And in -511 the hoishand Park slew Sampian king Akpalo after a team of five other hoishands wrestled with his palace guards. In -510 all three nations had fallen to Tze*ethia.

In -309, Tze*ethia's king Ghelsas wanted his nation to become richer, so he set his sights on Amadia. At first commoners were skeptical about the Amadian War, but after his propaganda agent Hadrash staged the blowing up of the bathroom in Ghelsas' palace and framed an Amadian carpenter, Mesapan, the people were willing to go to war. The hoishand Neshi killed two generals in -307, and in -304 the Amadian king Drezyan had 2,000 soldiers stand in a long line and slash at the generals of the Tze*ethik army. From -304 until -297 Amadia had the advantage until Ghelsas sent a patrol of soldiers to catapult bombs at the Amadian soldier lines. They quickly cleared the field, and the war became a war of bombs. In -288 the Tze*ethik bombmakers produced bigger, deadlier bombs, which allowed the Tze*ethik army to make progress to the king's castle. An unknown hoishand punctured Drezyan's lungs with a sukinap in -285, and he was left there bleeding. He died the next day, but Hadrash was so mortified by watching him die in person that he had a change of heart; Hadrash admitted to framing Mesapan and then committed suicide. Drezyan's top general, Brasyu, surrendered. Once Amadia was defeated, the Destra temples were converted into Hazumi temples. Tze*ethia now spread from the Naspar to the Blespharos.

In -668, the Seisomiv civilization founded their nation Seisum in Dumang. Ogiers was established as the capital. This people with their camels lived in the deserts of Dumang, among the sand dunes. Their writing system was pictographic and a lunisolar calendar was in use. They had bronze metallurgy, but had not yet progressed to iron. Archaeologists have recovered huge jugs of bronze from this country, used to entertain guests with drinks. Seisomivs spent much of their time in the modom, a social hall where people of the neighborhood could meet and chat. A Seisomiv was expected always to entertain people in his or her home if a guest showed up at the door. They had a lengthy code of laws, covered land ownership and division, and established a father as the owner of the land. Primogeniture was practiced at first, but abandoned in -215, so that a man's land was divided among all his sons. Women were forbidden from owning land. Women wore camisoles, blouses, skirts and wooden platform shoes, while men wore brefasits (sleeveless-button down tops), camel leather pants and sandals. The Seisomiv religion, Khachanfash, believed in 10 gods and 3 goddesses; one god, Ishmara, judged you by taking your heart and filling it with beer; if the beer poured out immediately your heart was full and it was seen that you were good and could progress to Heaven. Seisum had no military, never finding the need to defend itself from other people, as its desert location insulated it.

In -504, a nation called Dorthazal was founded in northern Hegheos. It covered the deciduous forests. The people of Dorthazal enjoyed hunting in the woods. They had bronze weapons, not having discovered iron metallurgy yet, and a writing system that only wrote the consonants of their words. Their calendar was lunar. They were a monarchist nation that had just settled down in the region after defeating other tribes such as the Graksith and the Matha, and as they defeated more people their nation occupied a small spot in the deciduous forests. They started out executing anyone who was accused of a crime, but in -312 they established trial by jury. They were a nation of conquerors, not traders, and made all their own goods from the plants, animals, fungi and minerals that they had in the forests. They were one of the first peoples to educate their children, as the first schools opened in -277. Nadorthazals wore loincloths made of animal fur and pig-leather boots. They Nadorthazal religion believed in spirits of the trees, and believed there was one Kobar, or Great Spirit, that corresponded with each animal species around them. Fassensprachl was the capital of Dorthazal.

In -280, a general of Mophasia, Phaqezel, had an urge to conquer the world. At the age of 25, Phaqezel had just conquered some invading tribes called the Nofuse and the Traptos. He told Abilyen, the prime minister of Mophasia that if he conquered Kabuvas nearby, the nation of Mophasia could expand and become more influential in the world. The Kabuvian-Mophasian war was fought on Kabuvian land, and the general of the Kabuvian army was a man named Dadilas. After 5 years of the war, after he won the Battle of Wameba, Dadilas told his troops "We are almost winning". In -272, after the battle of Sarmendran, he told them, "Just a little further", and over the next few years he continued to say, "We're just starting to end this war and we will win". In -267 (after Kabuvas lost the battle of Blandom Hill) he said, "Victory is just around the corner", but in -266, after the Battle of Asponu, Dadilas surrendered. The Kankonians use the adjective "dadilasizh" to describe someone who continuously assures people that something is "just around the corner", year after year, even though it never comes. Phaqezel's plan worked, and after the Kabuvian-Mophasian War from -279 to -266, Kabuvas was now part of Mophasia. Mophasia had advanced mathematics and philosophy to claim to its own, and prided itself on its powerful democracy. The economy of Mophasia was more successful than ever before, and great works were being translated into Mophasian. In -259, the first great work written by a Kabuvian in the Mophasian language, Zenisas' "Properties of Isosceles Triangles", was published. In -244, the Mophasian mathematician Hhabanel came up with the concept of negative numbers. The success of Mophasia's economy and academic standing inspired citizens to elect pro-empire politicians. In -256, the prime minister Tezam was elected, one who was sympathetic to conquering more nations. He expanded his reach over much of the land between the Blespharos and the Naspar. In -254, at the age of 51, Phaqezel announced his plan to conquer Ktibagu. He and his troops rode their camels and wenschars and brought their cannons to Ktibagu. In -251, his strategist Paset devised the idea of having his troops dress like civilian Ktibagiks and hiding weapons. Ktibagiks were caught off their guard with this ruse, and Mophasia had an overwhelming advantage. The Ktibagik general, Entabi, surrendered. Phaqezel continued to expand Mophasia until he was killed at Poparan at the Battle of Kakanid in -241.

The city-state of Radies formed in -212 in the very north of Durben. Radies was ruled by Queen Shaubut as it had no king. The oldest daughter of Shaubut, Emara, became queen when she died and for the rest of Radies' existence it was ruled by a woman. Iron weapons, copper coins, an alphabetic script borrowed from that of the Ghogrosik language and a solar calendar typified the up-to-date state of Radiessan technology and knowledge. Radies had codified laws, trial by jury and equality for men and women. Everyone over 13 was a human with such rights as life, marriage to whom they wanted and not being drafted. Radies did have an army but it was a small one and they never got into a war with any other civilized people. The Treaty of 96 in -116 limited the queen's power to break laws and defy them, and prevented her from having a person executed without trial. The people were both farmers and traders, and traded with Ghogros and Metillea. Similar to Povoi, the people wore many different clothes (raincoats, vests, skirts, shorts, clogs, boots, tank tops, etc.) The religion of Radies developed one Lord figure, Shuvhas, and one Lady figure, Lebmiara.

Meanwhile, in southern Durben, a nation known as Rensha was forming, with an independent discovery of iron metallurgy. They used a lunar calendar based on the cycles of both Akalla and Tziran, and came up with a pictographic writing system independently. Renshans practiced the Insemenz religion, with a pantheon of demons led by Ravathegh, the demon of chaos, whom they worshipped. Ravathegh had a brown mane and a three-pronged penis. They believed in afterlife in a place called lhatzenhait, with fire and plenty of ducks and land-dwelling fish to eat. The mudskipper and lungfish were considered sacred by these people. They would sacrifice migrating ducks to this demon. Rensha was a monarchy, whose capital was Tuchispili. The place had a dark mood to it, and many people suffered from seasonal affective disorder. Their knights would fight barbarian tribes who wanted control of their land, but there was a fatalistic attitude towards going into battle. They protected their land for centuries, always defeating the barbarians. Rensha had a system of mercantilism going on. Renshans wore only shorts, necklaces and plenty of rings in their nipples, armpits, noses, ears and eyebrows.

In the year -16, Ekhula, the son of King Akhram, became king of Tze*ethia. He crowned himself emperor and declared that from now on, Tze*ethia would be an empire over the continent of Hegheos. His astronomers invented a calendar for him and he began a calendar in 0 Kankonian time. Days, weeks, months passed and eventually the year 1 was reached. In the year 3, Tze*ethia and Ciladia united, and Ciladia was now part of the Hegheosik Empire. The Abudars, Kheriks, Boidois and Plepas also became part of the empire as the desert and savannah land of Hegheos was claimed part of Tze*ethia.

Other countries on Hegheos consumed by the Hegheosik Empire that did not make contributions to world history include Bakarta, Khefem, Pahhal, Goidu, Eresembol, Aresmi, Amet, Nethine, Spendin, Talmok, Imbia, Sazmia, Garthuria, Ambein, Hütheol, Ttharis, Sigba, Andopha, Hurun, Mankandowe, Tishram, Kopia, Blegmizha, Hwandard, Gweletza, Sturman, Bromikia, Khendos, Kharnos, Phlippen, Porazma and Vhanzer.

In the year 12, the Mophasian-Ekhulic War began, as Ekhula's general Bredos tried to conquer Mophasia. Iron swords, cannonballs and cannons and bombs were used. At the battle of Nyelen, 4-5-16, fought with Mophasian soldiers running down a Mophasian hill and dropping bombs behind them, Bredos fell. Mophasia held its own until Khonar, the general who had replaced Bredos, sent his hoishands out. On the Night of Terror, 11-7-19, hoishands assassinated 71 of Mophasia's 165 senators. The next day, the hoishand Gheri assassinated the prime minister of Mophasia, Kashumbal, with a sukinap. Mophasia was cast into anarchy and Ekhula declared the Hegheosik Empire to be Mophasia's new government.

The good-looking, dark-skinned Kankonian people were bound to Ekhula's strict leadership and religious values for many years. Ekhula died in the year 31, but another man, his best friend Amane, took over his position and allowed the reign to continue. Using the day's highest nautical technology, retroengineered from Durbenian ships, the Hegheosiks sailed the world and set up colonies in other continents around the world. In each colony, occupied by a different ethnic group or nation, a pavwazh, or viceroy, would govern the local people and introduce the Hegheosik Empire's language and norms. The pavwazh's wife was called a zendi, and his son was the zwidanshaluwan (overseas-prince) and his daughter the leseotishaluwan (overseas-princess). A pavwazh was a sort of imperialist nanny figure to the overseas natives, chaperoning the development of the nation, introducing Hegheosik technology, and borrowing technology native to the region. Kupulshas was discovered in 251, named after the Kupulti tribe where the explorers landed (on analogy with Tzelshas), and given its own pavwazh around where the Kupulti people lived.

The Hegheosik Empire made its inroads into Povoi, with the first missionaries appearing in 134. A Hegheosik woman named Amber was executed by a radical Povoian cult in 144 by being force-fed a poisonous mushroom, and later was made a saint by the Hazumi religion. The mushroom is now known as dabnadenkhikol (St. Amber's cup). In 156, the Hegheosik Empire sent a pavwazh into Bhudra, and in 160 they sent one into Azpelati.

One social group found in the deserts of Povoi are called the Vikasko. The Vikasko appear to be remnants of a desert civilization that was much more advanced than the Azpelatians. No one in Azpelati took credit for the pyramid or sphinxes there, and there are what appear to be broken futuristic guns found buried in the sands of the desert, before Azpelati even came close to such a technology. Azpelati has had modern-style bridges and high-tech drainage systems from before the Hegheosiks came over, with no explanation as to how they were invented. The Vikasko often have blue skin, blue eyes or white skin with freckles, and skeletons that do not resemble the structure of known Kankonians have been uncovered by archaeologists. In fact, the DNA extracted from these skeletons is no closer to that of Kankonians than that of any other human race in the galaxy is. This leads to the belief that the Vikasko were descendants of another people who landed on Kankonia a long time ago. Several slang and dialect words, such as "yodel" for a shambles and "viti" for very, are unique to Vikasko speech and are related to no word known from any other language once spoken on Kankonia (Vikasko spoke Azpelatian until the Hegheosik Empire taught them Kankonian, and speak Kankonian with some dialect words today). The Vikasko had their own music, dances and clothes, instead of dressing like typical Azpelatians.

In the first and second centuries, Durben was filled with many Hegheosik pavwazhes. The Disque, Tetien and Radiessans all received their pavwazhes. In 139, a Phesandran man named Hetenemphra came up with the Musefi religion. When the pavwazh came to Phesandra in 147, Hetenemphra introduced him to his new religion. This new faith spread over the continent, wiping out native religions like Yomobama and competing with Hazumas and Rasaphism. In the 210's, Durbenians began immigrating to Hegheos, and spread the religion there. It was also spread to Kankonia's maritime community by Durbenian sailors. Musefism also spread to such inconsequential nations in Durbenian history as Quonda, Paruru, Nyabitl, Rabatl, Balyaku, Sem, Meth, Methol, Suig, Jadmon, Trikess, Kapomakesl, Runin, Stimar, Loquat, Lummor, Vaduzenga, and Zarosquindi. In the 220's and 230's, a man named Yatehytra spearheaded the building of the first pyramids in Phesandra.

In 189, the first Hegheosik Empire builders sailed to Dumang. They proselytized many Dumangians with Rasaphism. The pavwazh in Ogiers had his own Rasaphi temple, the Pes Dyisat. There was an outbreak of treshis while Hegheosiks were colonizing Dumang in the 210's. Treshis causes half the face to swell up and turn yellow. There is fever and intense sweating. The immune systems of the Dumangians, unfamiliar with treshis, could not handle it and thousands of Dumangians died. The Dumangian nations of Nienan, Bansing, Oan, Torin, Lipsit, Thorkh, Durgh, Ofsent, Breong, Shilu, North Mana, South Mana and Phraok, many of which borrowed culture from Seisum, were also converted and suffered treshis.

In 279, Emperor Osfru I introduced knights to Hegheos. The Hegheosik Empire would make knights bound to good manners to serve the empire. They would go on missions and fight other nations who were trying to make inroads in on Hegheos. They held the fort, so to speak, by preventing outsiders from invading Hegheos. A knight would also fight to the death on other continents to secure a pavwazh's hold over an overseas region.

The Hegheosiks lived a formulaic, medievalistic life, governed by conformity and rules for the purpose of having rules. Men wore the kharam, and women wore the salvam. People were placed into a strict caste system (the emperor at level 1; all his friends, priests, knights, hoishands and assistants at level 2; 80% of the populace, the middle-class ransatz, at level 3; and the whole hazhu* population, a 19% that had been born with deformities or had broken a social taboo, at level 4). Although a person could fall from level 3 to level 4, no other caste-switching was possible. Within any caste (nian), people fell into aras, or sub-castes. Older males, younger males, older females and younger females, in declining order, were the four basic aras within any caste, except for level 1 with only one member.

A male at either ara level 2 or 3 could also be subclassified yet more depending on his shegeri. A male who was reserved, self-disciplined, religious and knowledgeable of the code of kamandra (etiquette, chivalry) would have a high shegeri; one considered by the emperor's culture to be rude would have a very low shegeri. If someone's shegeri sank too low, of course, he would be classed down to level 4.

The code of kamandra consisted of over 1,600 rules considered unbreakable. The first fifteen or so resembled the Ten Commandments and spoke against lying, cheating, stealing and murder and such. The next few hundred were common courtesies (holding a door or carrying a fruit bowl for another person, waiting in line, apologizing); by rule 400, the rules began to cover table manners, by rule 600 they covered finer yet table manners and by rule 900 hundreds of bizarre and pointless adapomires (social taboos) were written down. A citizen, particularly a male citizen, was held accountable for knowing all of those. Anyone who broke an adapomir, no matter how trivial, was instantly condemned to shame. Such rules as "Thou shalt not scratch your left thumb", "Thou shalt not touch the bags under your eyes", "Thou shalt stand upright when entering a building", "Thou shalt not give anything orange or brown as a present", "Thou shalt use two forks, the left placed upon the right, when eating shark", "Thou shalt not tend to a vegetable garden after 12:00", "Your frenulum or uppermost vertebra shall never be exposed" and "A male may not touch the hair of anyone, a female may touch the hair only of another female" were all accepted as sacrosanct.

This entire social system was enforced by the emperor and level-two government; sermons at Hazumi temples even praised conformity and chivalry as next to godliness. Rasaphi and Musefi temples, more often than not, also had strong emphasis on these, with rewards of pleasurable afterlife promised. In 441, the first boys' schools opened, and in 617, the first girls' schools. Schools, although including basic lessons on mathematics, biology and writing, were basically establishments in which kamandra, authority, submissiveness and "respectability" were drilled into malleable young minds. Both teachers and parents spanked any children vehemently after the latter broke a taboo, but these children were not eligible to be pushed down to level 4 until they were 16 years old. Children were also spanked if they spoke the native language of the region instead of speaking Tze*ethik. The prime message of these schools seemed to be "There are some things we don't do, just because" and students were often told they were leminiya or roshtu (both of which basically meant they were bad people for having broken an adapomir).

The emperor would live in his palace with his level-two associates and his entire family, descended from the royalty and the boys tapped with tzoruga of the ancient Tze*ethik days. These people would actually sit around and think up new adapomires to be added to the kamandra scrolls. The palace populations, over the generations, were essentially mutual admiration societies where royals chatted, made each other laugh and talked about how much better than the ransatz and the hazhu*es they were. The overseas palaces had their own communities, and of course all of these pavwazh-headed families and circles were loyal to the emperor.

In the seventh century, glasses (614) were invented, and belief in fantasy and the supernatural began to wax. Fantasy stories, including the stories about the anthoi, were popular, and sightings of blonde, Grey and Domehead visitors increased. People went out searching for the bapra, for dragons and other mythical creatures, and support among the scientific community (mostly monks now) for the Tederian Onion decreased, partly because some felt it had never been empirically confirmed but also because such monks as Hari sighted extrakankonials themselves, calling into doubt Hyamitl's use of the Tederian Onion to argue against alien life. New strains of Rasaphism and Musefism with supernatural elements developed. It was a good time for science, but also a good time for fantasy. People were still bound to kamandra, but people in monasteries and convents were beginning to ignore it.

In 634, the Azpelatian prince Bazone assassinated the Povoian emperor Padru. This led the Povoian Empire to call war on Azpelati. Both acquired iron weapons and bombs, and the Azpelatians came into battle with heavy armor and shields. The Povoians invented their own armor and shields, and could hold their own. The Povoian Empire and Azpelati were locked in war. Due to the escalation of war, Azpelati's emperor called for a draft to match the Povoian Empire's in 645. Men as old as 49 were drafted, but royals were exempt. Discipline for Azpelatian soldiers became very strict. The Povoians called for more troops, and after the Troop Surge of 648 they were back to locking horns. The War for the Continent, as it was called, continued with no clear winner in sight for the next 20 years. Boys were growing up knowing they would one day go to war and possibly die. Finally, in 669, after 50,672 Azpelatian deaths and 110,284 Povoian deaths, the Povoians invented guns. Bullets were shot through Azpelatian armor, and the Azpelatian technology was no match. Azpelati surrendered in 671 and became part of the Povoian Empire. Bhudra, which had remained neutral, was also sucked up into the new continent-wide empire. Every part of Povoi except the south was now the Povoian-speaking Povoian Empire. Nations that did not play an important part in history but had become part of the Povoian Empire included Abhik, Tugor, Hunimo, Tatlan, Horezgwa, Mingel, Sopra, Milinidrag, North Gessa, South Gessa, Chairin and Papakwebhisar.

The status quo of kamandra kept up for many years and under many emperors. Then in 908 a boy named Shelkan was born. Shelkan, by some miracle, was both very stubborn and very intelligent, and not afraid to share his realizations with others. At the age of ten, he was labeled "hopelessly roshtu while measuring only ten years already!" and kicked out of school out of extreme desperation, while still being badly beaten by his parents for breaking taboos every day. Finally, when Shelkan was 16, just old enough to be tossed into level 4 forever, he realized why he had been so defiant for all these years.

Shelkan could not express it or consciously put the pieces together until now, but it was suddenly clear to him. The code of kamandra included as rule number 11 the concept of justice, or fairness. And yet it was not fair that females or younger people were considered to be of a lower ara just because of sexual or chronological traits they had no control over. It was not fair that some people were considered more of human beings than others. And it was definitely not fair to have these adapomires, especially when other civilizations on other continents or planets that the Hegheosiks had seen -- some so-called primitive cultures -- did without them. Can a person's freedom, he asked, be limited because of thefate as to where he was born without being unfair? The entire code of kamandra contradicted itself! In 925, the current emperor, Phoriphio decreed Shelkan be executed. He gave no arguments other than forcefully and repetitiously repeating the weak argument that "He is threatening the current order". At the age of 17, Shelkan was decapitated.

Some hazhu*es, however, had listened to Shelkan. They were enraged that Phoriphio had murdered Shelkan and one, Kerina, avenged Shelkan's death by assassinating the emperor. Kerina farted in Phoriphio's face, pronouncing his name in a clowning manner, while he slashed his knife. As Kerina pronounced the PH's as raspberry sounds, he started a hazhu* tradition in the pronunciation of Kankonian's letter phiket, and soon the language changed.

This whole series of incidents led to a backlash against hazhu*es in which the succedaneous emperor Hartzakh called for a massacre of 555 hazhu*es. The Shaleyans noticed, visited the planet in 926, and explained that this was just a normal case of khemehek -- a Shaleyan word for "rebellion". The khemehekas (singular: khemehekis) was the name the antiestablishment hazhu* army took on. The conservative, high-shegeri people were shocked and said, "Let there be devesar (tradition) instead!" All of the continent was soon divided into khemehekas and devesas (singular: devesis). Meanwhile, the landing of Shaleyans, with their bold "we are here" announcement, shook the planet. Their questions as to whether Kankonians were alone in the universe were now answered. "There are other people, and they are better than us", said the khemehekis Masira.

The new counterculture lived relatively freely and making progress (even taking kids out of schools) on Hegheos until 945. Self-proclaimed emperor Saregu decreed all khemehekas be jailed, as their refusal to conform "was a threat to civilization". "You want civilization?," the khemehekas responded, "Civilization at what price?" Existence of ethics, ergo justice, ergo freedom, was still the top priority for these new thinkers.

Khemehekas ran away to avoid going to school. Devesas burned the books they wrote. Khemehekas, who had stripped the code down to 20 rules (quite literally, shredding pieces of paper on which they were canonically written), shocked the devesas with their freedom from "good" manners. They scratched their left thumbs freely, touched the hair of anyone in sight whether male or female, sat and stood any way they wanted too, exposed their frenula, and -- horror of horrors! -- ate shark with a single fork.

In 967, the Hegheosik emperor Fakha* passed a law stating that any and every khemehekis across Kankonia be executed. Khemehekas found many ways to escape being either executed or conforming to the immoral values of the devesas. Khaharanes, secret houses in which rebels would hide that looked just like the devesas' houses, were common hideouts. One khaharan could hold twenty khemehekas, who grew their own food. There was also the occasional felamik ("attic-ian"), a khemehekis who hid in the attic of a devesis' house. They held luyatas, ceremonies in which fire rings were lit that would threaten and scare devesas. One luyata held in 990 ended up accidentally setting 51 devesas on fire.

Meanwhile, Povoi was being caught up in trendy religions and food fads. At home Povoians developed Gudoern, a cult claiming one could find Leho based on a diet of quinoa and Kaffir bread, and Sivrut, which stated that oezha was the secret, just-discovered, long-lost key to understanding life and the afterlife. Aupishagai, or breatharianism, was also preached on the continent. Gudoern failed after only thirty years or so, but Sivrut and Aupishagai were still going strong at the time. Povoian novels for circle-reading, albeit forgettable ones, were written in the eleventh century, which was also a golden age for music and dances. The printing press was invented in Povoi in 954.

The Povoians' false sense of security and their bohemian-bourgeois complacency could not have come at a worse time however. The vasana, a Tzelshan banana-eating weevil with a light brownish-red shell with darker brownish-red spots, destroyed the banana crops in 1016. With their banana crops rotten, the Tzelshan natives then raided the Povoians' land in 1022. The two warred until 1031, but the warriors and patriots of the Povoi state were no match as warriors for the Tzelshans. Most Povoian boys were too busy finding themselves to fight. Outrageous numbers of Povoians dodged the draft, as patriotism reached an all-time low. "We are all Povoians today, my fellow khemehekas", said the Hegheosik Sandy na Ozia in 1028 after the Battle of Mt. Söma. Guns were now known all over the world, and the Tzelshans used them to fight the very people who had invented them. In 1031, the Povoians declared themselves subjugate to Tzelshan rule. The Tzelshans, having had their languages replaced by Tze*ethik, introduced it into Povoi.

In 1015, the Hegheosik Empire had a new emperor, Dzark. Dzark repealed the law requiring khemehekas to be executed. However, he said, they must never be allowed near "polite society". Dzark also banned Shaleyans from the palace and from "polite society". "They're all khemehekas", he said of the Shaleyans. The khemehekas and hard-hatted hazhu*es found themselves working on railroads, building railroads and trains and putting telephone lines together. The Industrial Age was rung in on Kankonia as technology introduced from Shaleya modernized Kankonia. Khemehekas could now live in ordinary houses, call other khemehekas on telephones, and listen to the radio. The railroad project was completed in 1041. Most devesas stayed away from these conveniences as they were introduced by those coarse straight-haired, white-skinned people, the Shaleyans, and championed at home by dirty khemehekas. A khemehekis' status on Kankonia, however, was still second-rate. All the while, the first Kankonians took trips into outer space with the Shaleyans. The eleventh century was also a time for rediscovering older khemehekis-like thought; philosophers like Dzontas and Wesfu came back into fashion.

In the twelfth century, uprisings against Hegheosik rule tore apart Kupulshas. The rebel leader Kompofa, of the Ouyute tribe, called on 1,651 men, women, teen boys and teen girls to tear apart the pavwazh's palace in the Ouyute territory on 29-8-1145. One, a woman named Jakusa, assassinated the pavwazh. His followers were called Kompofiks. They wanted Ouyute culture and not Hegheosik culture, and Kompofa called the code of kamandra "atrocious". Another rebel leader was from the Masigwaimi tribe. His name was Photyani. The Photyanukhas, as his followers were called, supported the use of the Masigwaimi language instead of Tze*ethik. They rebelled against the Masigwaimi nation's pavwazh, Stolar, until he had Photyani captured, arrested and executed on 17-3-1168, "the day we will never forget". Photyani became a martyr for the Masigwaimi way. Photyanukhas aligned themselves with khemehekas on Hegheos, as did Kompofiks. Kupulshans were divided among Rebels, who opposed the Hegheosik Empire and code of kamandra, and Loyalists, who supported them.

The khemehekas in Hegheos inspired a rebellion of students against the social rules taught and insisted upon by teachers, who were in many places imperial devesas who spoke Tze*ethik. Students in Kupulshan schools called for "kotabainge", an Ouyute word for "student freedom", in which students were allowed to behave as they wish in classrooms without having to obey artificial rules. Children as young as 6 took part in kotabainge rallies and demonstrations. They railed against "vhalyake", or social indoctrination, arguing that no one should be forced to go to school and at the same time be forced in school to be subject to repressive rules. The 1180's and 1190's saw many showdowns between students and faculty in Seghur, in Nachapa, in Psitha, in Göpateti, in Voisarangu and elsewhere.

Meanwhile, Durbenians were showing the same divisions as Hegheosiks, with the khemehekis dress style and attitude competing with those who copied Hegheos' conservative devesis culture. Povoians who had remembered the halcyon days of oezha use and draft-dodging began to call themselves "khemehekas", and the Tzelshans who conquered them and Povoians who had decided to "get with the program" called themselves "devesas". The devesis base of the Hegheosik Empire, however, was weakening. The rebellion of Shelkan, the increasing Shaleyan presence on Kankonia, khemehekis technology with which devesas could not keep up, increased influence of non-Hegheosik continents and peoples (who did not hold the same norms) in the governing of Kankonia, and the inspiration of the Kompofiks and Photyanukhas in Kupulshas are all cited as influences on the weakening of devesar and kamandra. The days of the devesas appeared to be numbered, and in the 1160's, devesis/khemehekis wars flared up again.

Emperor Bador's public relations manager, Spitzan, wanted to show that being a devesis was still the all-Hegheosik way in response to all the khemehekis lifestyle going on, so he commissioned a group to conduct a poll of Hegheosiks in 1231, asking them whether they were devesas or khemehekas. The poll showed that 53% of Hegheosiks identified themselves as khemehekas, 47% as devesas. This news was shocking. The dilemma for many devesas was now: Devesos hing devesar? (conformity or devesar?) the numerical majority were khemehekas, so to be conformist, they had to follow the quantitative majority. A poll in 1241, ten years later, showed a clear trend that had occurred: 81% of Hegheosiks were khemehekas. In 1251 it was 89%. Conservatives feared for the "worst". Murderous, annihilative battles were fought. The khemehek code, which unlike the deves code was not hypocritical, said killing was morally wrong, so many khemehekas were reluctant to fight. Then in 1257, one woman named Thiana noted that "Murder means killing a human being, and devesas are definitely not human!" The other khemehekas followed in Thiana's wisdom and used Shaleyan warfare to aim at the goal of destroying every last devesis on Kankonia.

Shaleyans tried to slow down the fighting with their mollifying nature. One Shaleyan, Shosini Zekephan, called a peace conference at Dharatz in 1260 and mediated between a male devesis in his fifties, Sheimi, and a young female khemehekis, Nuwi zash Storman. The conference was an abysmal failore, and khemehekas wrote that Sheimi showed the worst of the devesis mind, while devesis columnist Kalat wrote, "Our traditions have lost the young generation".

Emperor Vanard was assassinated in 1277, and there were fewer and fewer devesas left to replace the emperors. A khemehekis, Andy zash Teinarevor, made himself emperor. From then on, social conventions across all of Kankonia weakened as very few still held them. The devesas, no longer running the country, retreated and let the khemehekas run things.

Something new happened with the name of the planet around this time. Previously people had just referred to their own planet as "Pilakh", or "ground". But now the idea that Hegheos, Durben, Dumang, Povoi, Tzelshas and Kupulshas were all part of a single whole and that that whole was another ball in space just like Shaleya or Chatony demanded a name. The astronomer Tesfas was the first to use the name for a Hhasimean word for "our place in space" -- Kankonia. The planet gained a new identity as people talked about "Kankonian citizenship".

The form of Kankonian names also developed as khemehekas, connected by telephones, made the first phone directories. Everyone would need a first name and a last name, and so as to prefer neither gender the system of derivation of last names from both parents would suggested. The man conducting the compilation of phone directories, Akda Neodymium Yuphas, an amateur chemist, also suggested that a third name would be needed to distinguish people with matching first and last names, and decided that everyone would take an element from the periodic table as a middle name.

Andy zash Teinarevor, who was now 67, wanted Kankonia to have something better than a monarchy. Meed Aurelium Tzandi argued for a democracy of the style practiced in Ciladia before it became part of the empire. The Shaleyans' input was sought, and given. The Shaleyans had done well without any laws, being a self-governing people who were incapable of being evil. But Kankonians, it was pointed out, were not genetically engineered and were still capable of doing something wrong. The models of various other planets -- feudalism, anarchy, a foreign-policy-only government -- were suggested.

The Dharatz Conventions were called in 1316. Public figures and philosophers from Kankonia and Shaleya would meet and discuss what form the government would take. The Shaleyan Shapho Zulakolowa, an expert on interplanetary politics, presided. Polo Hydrogen Habakh, a Kankonian, argued that the planet should have a democratic system with trial by jury and a code of laws, albeit libertarian laws. But the Kankonians had learned how people on other planets got convicted of things they did not do and thrown in jail for them, and could not accept such injustices. For this reason, Imra Lawrencium Mega made the case for an anarchy. The anarchy idea had quite a lot of popularity. Rapha Helium Gandri argued for a hawkish government that protected Kankonia against outside invasions and had the highest-tech military ordnance. Zhona Arsenic Devi argued for a government headed by the rebel leaders in Kupulshas, whose service would be appreciated as leaders of the advancement of Kankonia into the fourteenth century.

The suggestion of anarchy was the most popular suggestion, and gained support from most of the people, but some had questions regarding the tenability of anarchy. Es-he Chromium Alanda argued that if there is no government, then someone with despotic plans will fill that role and the planet will have a government again. Someone with control-freak ideals would take over and fill the gap of leader, and Kankonia would no longer be an anarchy. Sagi Lutetium Nanisha proposed a form of government called the thelemarchy (ladudan in Shaleyan). In this form of government, Kankonia would have a president with advisors whose job would be to keep the one law, a law against the government making any other laws, just as Thelema has only one rule, i.e. "Do as you wish" -- a rule that precludes other rules and promotes freedom rather than restricts. The thelemarchy proposal won out, and Andy zash Teinarevor, now Tena Silicon Andy, went from being the last emperor to being the first president in 1327. They declared Kankonia one country, and decided that everyone on the planet would be citizens. The Kankonians set up a new capital in Khoikal, at a house called Dzhamalatz (or, in English, the Pandomimium). Tena and all his advisors would live there. The presidents' advisors would all be people devoted to keeping Kankonia free of laws. Uthal Potassium Here suggested that each president appoint another person to become president upon his or her death. This suggestion became official policy, and President Tena appointed Lius Manganese Budra as his successor. The first money to bear the imprimatur of Kankonia was minted in 1328.

Also in 1328, Gaed Neon Lendra proposed a flag design for Kankonia. It would replace the flag of the Hegheosik Empire, which was red with a gold crown. Gaed's flag was light blue with a brown trapezoid in the middle. The juxtaposition of blue and brown represented the Kankonians' commitment to conservation of their environment -- both their sea and their land. The trapezoid was an old anarchist symbol, representing not being fit well into a box. The Dharatz Conventions reconvened to discuss this and five other flags for the planet. Gaed's proposal won, due to its simple comprehensibility of symbolism, its distinctiveness and its general Kankonian spirit.

There is now only one native race on Kankonia -- the Kankonian race -- and even Schazans, Shaleyans, Hitans and Tentans, even Javartis, Tayaonits, Mysticoideans and Hapoishans -- are treated with respect. Words for corrupt deves concepts have often been replaced with alternatives from Mensinghian and Chatonian languages: "poilang" to replace "amfun"; "tshoi" to replace "estid".

When a stable thelemarchy was established on Kankonia, the Shaleyans introduced them to many new items of high technology, such as television, computers, ansibles, changing devices (for changing clothes) and lasers. They gave them spacecraft, and Kankonians began to explore the galaxy. They took the first Kankonian-manned trips to Schaza in 1333 (with Veli Vanadium Ladia taking the first steps on the planet), and Chatony in 1336 (with the first steps being taken by Khanad Tellurium Lora).

In the 1410's and 1420's, Kankonia's status as a citizen of the galaxy flourished. Kankonians visited Shaleya, Bodus, Javarti, Bt!a and other such planets frequently and shared their literature, cuisine and entertainment with those planets. It made its friends (countries whose government was compatible with Kankonian ideology) and its enemies (countries with authoritarian or fascist governments). Belonging to the galaxy became an important goal in the minds and spirits of Kankonians.

Kankonia has never needed to have a government-affiliated military, and a draft would be absolutely anathema to Kankonian ideals. It has only been attacked by outside planets twice in its history as a thelemarchy, and both times its Vigilante Squad thwarted the attackers. In 2436, the Ratharians landed and planned to enslave Kankonia, thinking a thelemarchy with no military would be an easy target. The Vigilante Squad blasted the Ratharian leaders on the surface of Kankonia to pieces with disintegrators and sent nanotech robots into its ships to hide bombs and destroy them. The Ratharians retreated. The second time was in 8478, when the Dantonese called war with Kankonia and tried to get Kankonia to conform to its mold of totalitarian government. The Vigilante Squad used the best in psychic technology available at the time to disorient the Dantonese invaders from their soulmatrixes, then fed them table bombs (bombs that are ingested with food and explode when inside someone). The Dantonese were blown up, and Danton never threatened Kankonia again. With the Kwemos Air Force guarding the region from outside attacks, no one wants to attempt to attack Kankonia.

The Vigilante Squad is an all-volunteer squad of people who are devoted to keeping the Kankonian way and putting their lives at risk for it. They were founded in 1331 by Asie Boron Khard. The Vigilante Squad is not affiliated with the president or the president's advisors. They were originally formed to protect Kankonia against attacks from people of other planets, and to foil attempts by Kankonians to overthrow or destroy their own planet. Although they are a global organization, they have many chapters. If someone kills or threatens another person, or tries to rob a store, the Vigilante Squad's local chapter may step in and fight him/her. They are often brutal in their quest to fight for justice. They can beat someone until she or he agrees to pay for something she or he destroyed. They will sometimes fight shoplifters, but not if the person is shoplifting from a place whose prices are too high. They are skilled in bezists, psezens and sukinaps, the weapons of the hoishand, enduring 14 months of training before becoming a squadder. Should they be fighting somebody who knows how to use these weapons, they will use such weapons as table bombs that only a few people know how to make. Their motto is "Drebeket rimavaik, ad adaz as maik" (Get out the arsenal, for what is right).

Another organization not affiliated with the president is the Planetary Investigation Association (Koshetz na Apar Nahuzhus, or KAN, the first three letters of Kankonia). The KAN was founded by Hoko Platinum Gary in 1468. They maintain a computerized database with information on over a billion living Kankonians. Their database includes information on birthdate, full name, aliases, fingerprints, residence, phone number, cellphone bills, race (Kankonian, Tentan, Shaleyan, Hitan, Bodusian, Chatonian, etc.) and place of birth, physical appearance, hobbies, political views, family relations, past brushes with the Vigilante Squad and papers they have written. The KAN is able to find out quite quickly who someone is, and can solve homicides, theets, etc. when someone's been wronged but the Vigilante Squad doesn't know whom to attack.

A third association important on Kankonia that is not affiliated with the president is the Kankonian Conservation Corps (Baka na Antwan Kankonik, or BAK). This was founded in 1797 by Waed Sodium Gwendi. She declared its mission statement as "To preserve the ecosystems, plant species and animal species that form Kankonia's planetary heritage". The BAK has 1,400,000 members, who will fight to save gwanars and gwanars of land. Members of the BAK are known to climb trees to prevent them from being cut down. They will stand atop buildings to prevent them from being razed, and will take over the machines that are being used to chop trees and develop land. The BAK will sometimes team up with the Vigilante Squad, who will beat up or shoot loggers who are trying to cut down plants in areas where lots of endangered plants and animals live. In recent years they have been involved in saving the crystal waterdrill.

The Kankonians today are a free-spirited people who believe in freedom of speech, religion, dress and language. They are not beholden to any social conventions, and may look coarse or tacky to some people on other, more conservative planets. The Kankonians cannot understand the social niceties of people who are not Kankonian; for instance, they find it puzzling why some non-Kankonians are offended when someone responds to an offer with "No" rather than "No thank you". They may wear boxer shorts or a camisole while lounging in the living room, or even while driving to a coffeeshop. They are informal in their language and their dress and will seldom wear the kharam or the salvam anymore. Bad posture is frequent. Most of them are friendly and believe in love directed towards their fellow Kankonians. Kankonians believe in honesty and would rather others tell them what they really believe than tell them what they think they would like to hear or what is complimentary. They do not have much personal space and will come quite close to each other, freely touching each other's hair, tapping each other on the shoulder, holding each other's arms and even hugging. It is uncommon for a Kankonian, even a male Kankonian, to mind being hugged by another male. Kankonians may come late to an appointment, but trains, airplanes and spacecraft will almost always run on time. Kankonians do not believe that one person deserves more respect than another because of his or her gender, age, nativity or office; a high-ranking person from another planet who is disdainful towards the Kankonians can be expected to be put in his place. If you are wrong about something, a Kankonian person will point it out. The Kankonians can be humorous, even silly sometimes, and drunkenness (including in public) is tolerated. The Kankonians use a wide number of drugs, from alcohol to heroin to oezha, and do not worry about use of these by youth. No drug is taboo on Kankonia. The Kankonians do not expect welfare or social security from the government; they consider these to be aspects of governments that are too activist, although they do give to charity -- consider, for instance, the charity schools run on Kankonia.

The Kankonians value such endeavours as authorship, poetry, journalism, photography, music and art and respect people who are good at pulling it off. They also believe in science and look up to their mathematicians, geologists, astronomers, biologists and chemists. At the same time, they are spiritual and believe in the importance of psychic and religious (Hazumi, Rasaphi, Musefi) leaders. They believe in paranormal phenomena and have a sense of wonder. Kankonians also look up to their athletes, actors and actresses, video game designers, fashion designers and perfume makers, but do not have much reverence for politicians on non-anarchist planets. They think the Vigilante Squad is great, does its job, the works -- but military endeavours are not one of the things they admire; if they met a military officer from, say, Hapoi, they wouldn't view him with the same prestige with which they'd view a scientist. Thought and philosophy rank high in respect, and the philosophers of the negative second millennium are still studied today.

List of Hegheosik emperors


-16-31: Ekhula
31-68: Amane
68-78: Rock I
78-101: Seshal
101-130: Khaheris
130-145: Nayim I
145-167: Shandi
167-193: Orekh
193-254: Zandu
254-277: Helin
277-285: Osfru I
285-306: Pablo
306-309: Bagam I
309-321: Arhekh
321-324: Hetziss
325-355: Nayim II
355-371: *esand
371-388: Shtefar
388-402: Khotzan
402: Shashim
402-414: Bagam II
414-449: Bagam III
449-493: Photas I
493-498: Yokham
498-512: Vesinki
512-517: Molinas
517-551: Khathi
551-580: Egeris
580-599: Helem I
599-631: Osfru II


631-667: Rock II
667-681: Sanditz
681-697: Laberetz
697-707: Nezangeth
707-714: Osfru III
714-715: Phasaph I
715-764: Phasaph II
764-788: Blezan
788-802: Nayim III
802-824: Photas II
824-845: Nayim IV
845-879: Zandros
879: Sayim
879-900: Vokhal
900-919: Tzendri
919-925: Phoriphio


925-941: Hartzakh
941-966: Saregu
966-968: Fakha*
968-1015: Shtampel
1015-1041: Dzark
1041-1045: Clay
1045-1078: Nerian
1078-1129: Gardri
1129-1175: Hothos
1175-1217: Emenosrimi
1217-1227: Helem II
1227-1244: Bador
1244-1245: Kelsas
1245-1275: Khafi
1275-1277: Vanard
1277-1327 (emperor); 1327-1338 (president): Andy zash Teinarevor

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This page courtesy of James Landau. Write to him here.